It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
