Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize