He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
