3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
