I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
