She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize