the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
