dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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