I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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