Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
