Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
