ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
