i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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