Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
