He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize