hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
