apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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