Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize