If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
