A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
