Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
