Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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