I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing