I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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