Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.