The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
