if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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