i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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