last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
