omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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