he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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