I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
These tits shall not be calmed
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