Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
