five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
