Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
