How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
