i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
