I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
