we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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