what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
