Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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