you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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