go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
