Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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