I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Everyone says I win the strip club
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize