There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
