My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
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the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
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Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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