Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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