Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
