I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
