I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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