Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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