even my farts smell like vagina
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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