is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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