Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
