I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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