So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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