My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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