i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
