Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
