Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
