I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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