I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You can't special order awesome
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
