I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
