Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
