why im i the only drunk person in the library?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize