ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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