did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
