I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
