The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
