I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
