She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
