We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
