actually, I'm a sock model
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
