Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
